Secrets Protect
by farewelleleven
Summary: The Doctor visits his beloved Clara only to find out that she has been keeping a secret from him, and that secret leads to an unforgettable adventure for the Doctor. Will he lose his Impossible Girl?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Clara woke up to the sound of tree branches hitting her window; her face was hot and wet. She tossed in bed, twisting and turning she finally excepted that she wasn't going back to sleep anytime soon, she turned and glanced over to the clock on her dresser, it was _3:50 am_. Her light weight legs dropped to the floor and jumped back up a bit when they touched the icy wood floor.

She made her way down the stairs and into the kitchen to make her some tea; she began to think of the Doctor, her Doctor. She remembered the time they spend together in the TARDIS, how safe she felt with him and how her face got cherry red every time he looked up and smiled at her, she quickly pushed the thoughts of the Doctor aside. Her knees began to shake and seconds later she was down on her kitchen floor, unable to get up she crawled to the living room, she was too weak to pull herself up to the newly bought sofa so she stayed on the ground, she rested her head on the cold floor.

The Doctor ran around the console room with a huge grin on his face. He just got back from an alien flower festival and he got Clara a bouquet of beautiful baby blue lilies, he stopped running and looked in the mirror to fix his red bowtie. Soon the TARDIS was just around the corner from Clara's flat. He ran, almost tripping over his feet, he couldn't wait to see his beautiful Clara. The Doctor stopped in front of her door and knocked, she didn't answer and his grin disappeared a bit, she always opened the door within a few seconds, sometimes he didn't even get the chance to knock, '_maybe she didn't hear_' he thought to himself so he rang the door bell but still no one answered, his grin was now gone and his eyes sad old eyes got bigger and sadder, he pulled out his sonic screw driver and soniced the door handle, he opened the door and ran in sonicing everything then he saw her laying there on the cold hard wood floor

"Clara?..." he whispered to himself "Clara!" he dropped the flowers and ran to her, he dropped to his knees and picked up her weak body. He held it close to his, her head resting against his chest. Clara regained consciousness and pulled away from him, ashamed of how he found her, she tried to stand but she just fell back down, her knees hitting the floor hard.

"Clara here let me help."The Doctor took her into his arms once again, her head fell against his shoulder and she wrapped her arms around him. "Clara what's wrong?" He asked as he put her gently down on the sofa. Clara looked up at him as he put her down, her eyes started to water up as she looked at him, a single tear rolled down her cheek, he was so kind and caring, and she was hurting him. Clara forced a smile "Nothing Doctor, I just fell and hurt my foot" she lied. He knew she had lied and that hurt him more than anything, he wanted to be there and protect her but how can he if she lied to him about things like this. She noticed the sadness in his eyes which made her wish she never woke up the night before. "Now Doctor, bring me those beautiful flowers" she said as she spotted them laying on the ground, she pointed to the flowers and turned to him, she was smiling and he couldn't help but smile back. He went into the kitchen to get a vase for the flowers, looking around the kitchen he stopped when he spotted a cup with a tea bag in it

"Would you like some tea Clara?" he yelled from the kitchen

But there was no response, he set the flowers down on the counter next to the cup and walked over to Clara to make sure she's alright. "Clara..?" he said in a calm and quiet voice, but loudly enough for her to hear him. He found her on the sofa, where he left her, she must have passed out.

He sat beside her on the sofa and looked down at her, he leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead, she flinched and smiled still asleep, the Doctor placed his hand on her forehead, she was burning up. He stood up panicking; he took her in his arms and ran to the TARDIS. AS he ran he looked down at Clara still not conscious and called her name, "It's going to be okay Clara, I promise" once they were by the doors of the TARDIS he snapped his fingers and the doors opened. He ran in and put her down softly, he was going to do something that Clara might not understand or forgive, but he had to know what was wrong The Doctor scanned Clara. He looked up to see the results, his eyes got big and watery, he turned his hand into a fist, "Oh Clara, no" he looked down at her "Clara no!" his finger nails dug into his skin as he clenched his fist


	2. Shattered Heart

Chapter 2

His hearts beat became faster, the tears in his eyes became bigger, and he couldn't hold back his tears so he sobbed. It seemed like he had been crying for hours, his breath became short and his hands were shaking. He walked around the TARDIS with both his hands clenched into fists, he walked into his bedroom, there wasn't much in there, he kept it neat a few books on the floor but why keep them in his room when you have a library, next to his bed there was a dresser. He walked closer to his dresser, and opened the rusty drawer. He picked up a picture and held it; his knees became weak so he sat on his bed. He stroked the picture in his hands then brought it to his chest, he began whispering and crying. He cried for River, his love of his life that had passed away because of him. He cried out for his best friends, who were also taken from him, he could still see the Ponds around the TARDIS, and then he cried for Clara

"Clara... Clara you can't...you can't leave...you can't leave me, not now Clara please" his sobs became louder and his voice broke as he cried out to all of his lost and loved ones.

Clara opened her eyes, the TARDIS was too bright for her eyes and there was a breeze that was never there before, she was still too weak to walk but she did her best and stood up, holding on to the railings. She hear glass breaking and she jumped back a little

"Doctor?" her voice was gone and even though she screamed it came out a whisper that only she could hear

"Doctor!" she tried again, her voice grew a bit stronger, a bit louder but still not loud enough for him to hear her.

"Okay Clara, let's go find the Doctor..." she said to herself and began to take little steps toward the Doctor, or what she thought was him. She heard her name called softly behind her and when she turned around she found no one, Clara continued her way through the empty halls, she kept hearing bangs and shattering, at some point she heard something that sounded like a sob but she shook it off thinking that it was all in her head. Clara poked her head into the Doctors bedroom she gasped a little when she walked in.

The Doctors bed was flipped upside down, his books were scattered around with pages torn out, the large mirror which hung along the side of the window was shattered and his favorite bowtie was on the ground, it looked as if he had ripped it off his neck. The Doctor was sitting in the middle of this chaos with both his hands clenched into fists; one fist was covered in blood and in the other he was holding onto something.


	3. Confessions

Chapter 3

It was silence for a moment, it was so silent that you could hear the Doctors hearts beating; you could hear Clara's short and quick inhales. It seemed as if the world had stopped.

"Doctor what are you doing?" Clara broke the silence

He turned around and showed a weak little smile, a few tears made its way down his cheeks and made its way down his neck. His eyes were bloodshot and his skin was as pale as the white walls, his hair looked as if it was pulled on. His smile made Clara want to cry, she returned a little smile to him. She stood by the door way, one hand on the door and the other at her side, her bruised knees shook but it didn't matter, she had to be strong and she was.

"Redecorating" He turned away from her and walked over to pick up a lamp with beautiful designs and gallifreyan writing that made its way around the lamp, his arm along with the lamp rose up and went behind his head and with a slight throw the lamp flew across the room hitting the wall and shattered in to a million tiny pieces.

Clara watched as the lamp shattered and fell to the ground camouflaging itself with the rest of the mess. She watched as he picked something else up and held it up. She watched him slam it on the ground, bits and pieces flying everywhere. He walked around bent over to pick something else up. She had seen him when he was hurting, but he barely let it show, she had never seen him like this.

"Doctor Stop" she commanded, her fingers trembling, her whole body felt stiff and awkward as she stood in the doorway watching him.

The Doctor stopped and glanced back at her, he looked away to wipe his tears and sighed before turning to her.

"Clara…" he said walking toward her but not looking directly at her, he never wanted her to see him like this he didn't want to scare her. "Are you okay?" he asked as his muscles tightened.

"I'm fine Doctor" she confirmed as she tilted his chin up. She stepped closer to him and ran her fingers through his hair, a few glass pieces dropped to the ground, she felt his breath on her neck as she leaned in for a hug, he hugged back tightly wrapping his arms around her skinny waist. She looked at him as she pulled her head away, her big brown eyes met his bloodshot eyes, and she examined his old sad eyes. She looked down afraid that she was making this awkward for him, she always thought he could never love her in the way that she does. This time he tiled her chin up and leaned in closer to her, he paused once his forehead was resting on hers. His arms still wrapped around her waist and her arms hanging over his shoulders.

"Doctor why do you care so much?" she whispered to him then rested her head on his shoulder

"Because Clara… you're _my impossible girl_" he answered without hesitation. He pulled away and freed his hands; he placed them softly on Clara's cheeks and pulled her in for a soft unexpected kiss. Her knees stopped shaking and her body became warm at the thought of him loving her, but then became cold once again when she remembered.

Her forehead rested on his and she could hear him whisper slowly but clearly "Clara you need to tell me."

"Doctor you already know." there was a long pause

"Clara, _my_ Clara….. _My impossible girl_" his voice broke

"Clara I-" she cut him off

"Doctor I'm dying" she said as tears began to form in her eyes "One last adventure?" she smiled as her hot tears streamed down her face and looked up at him, he smiled weakly "Where too?"


	4. I'm sorry Clara

Chapter 4

The Doctor and Clara traveled in the TARDIS for as long as they could of course they had to work around Clara's chemo schedule; the Doctor always went with her, he always sat by her side trying to make her as comfortable as possible. Every day they were greeted by a young redheaded nurse "Hello Clara… Doctor" the nurses there always seemed so happy, why be happy in such a sad place?

He always brought a book with him, some days it would be a Romance or a Mystery, Clara always loved mystery novels. He would seek out an extra chair and pull it closer to hers, he sat down and leaned back flipping the old pages and putting on Amy's round glasses, her head rested on his shoulder as he read aloud to her, she held his hand tightly every single time and everyone around would stop and look over at them and smile a painful smile. Sometimes Clara fell asleep to the comforting voice of her Doctor but he still held her hand.

"Clara! Are you ready to go?" he yelled to her as he entered her flat

There was no answer and he ran up stairs worried sick that Clara had passed out or worse.

"Clara?!" he entered her bedroom as the bathroom door opened behind him. Clara walked out wiping her mouth "I'm right here Doctor and yes I'm ready" she replied. He spun around and sighed from relief "Oh Clara, don't scare me like that!" he pointed to her and walked to her grabbing her hand, leading the way downstairs.

"Okay Doctor so today I'm not going to chemo, my doctor asked to see me and I don't know if it's good or bad news" she told him as they walked down the stairs, he turned around "I'm your Doctor Clara" he winked; she chuckled then smiled at him. "Umm Doctor I'll be right back" she ran to the kitchen sink and began to gag; he ran behind her and held her hair. She turned on the sink water and sat down hugging her knees to her chest as she leaned against the sink drawers, the Doctor kneeled down, he extended his hands and placed them on hers and they sat on the kitchen floor hand in hand not saying a word.

"You know how you always ask me if I'm okay?" her voice sounded different, not sad nor angry but confused. He looked up at her not saying anything "and every time I say that I'm fine, but Doctor I'm not" she looked up at him, her bangs were in her eyes, her mascara just a tad smeared, he looked at her without saying anything, she continued "Every day I get out of bed and I feel weaker then I was before, I've been throwing up and…" she paused and looked in to the mirror just behind the Doctor " and my hair has been falling out, honestly Doctor I'm scared, I wake up every day wondering if I'm going to see tomorrow." She looked at him; he was looking down with his eyes shut, she stood up fixing her favorite blue dress and extended her hand out to him, he grabbed lightly and got up "Okay we are going to be late" she said as she pulled him behind her.

They walked through the pasty yellow halls, they were empty and they only sound was the clicking of Claras heels.

"What a bore" The Doctor whispered

"It's a hospital Doctor, what do you expect a clown? Or maybe a dalek" she responded sassily

"No no, clowns are creepy, and why a dale-"

Clara cut him off " okay Doctor we're here" she stopped in front of a grey door and knocked three time then scooted away from the door. "Yes yes come in" the man behind the door responded and Clara and the Doctor entered the room. The room was an office which belonged to _Doctor Keller_, Clara'sdoctor_._ It contained a few bookshelves and two chairs placed across from his desk.

"Ah Clara! Come in please" He stood up and greeted Clara then glanced over to the man that followed her in "Hello I'm the Doctor!" The Doctor greeted him like he did anyone. They walked over to the chairs and took a seat. "So doctor, why did you ask to see me? Has there been a change?" She spoke confidently waiting for the good news

Of course the Doctor wasn't paying any attention at the moment "Because I wanted to make sure your okay Clara" he responded to the question that wasn't meant for him, both Clara and Doctor Keller looked at him. "What?" he asked confused "Oh... sorry" he blushed

"Clara… I'm afraid I have bad news. You see the cancer has spread a while ago and we didn't catch it in time-"

Clara looked at him in disbelief, his words were mute and she just looked at him as he talked not hearing a word, she looked down and closed her eyes, she didn't want either of them to see her break down right now.

The Doctor looked at her and saw how damaged and hurt she looked, he let out a sharp gasp and took Claras hand and kissed it, he held it close to him and covered it with both of his hands

"How long does she have?" He interrupted Doctor Keller, he didn't look at him, he couldn't look at the man that could've prevented Clara's cancer, the man that caused too much hurt and heart ache.

"Umm well we aren't sure but-"

The Doctors fist pounded on his desk scaring the man. He looked him in the eyes and began talking loudly "First you didn't catch her cancer and now you can't even tell me how long I have left with her" he pounded on the desk again. Clara looked up at them with tears in her eyes, her hand touched the Doctors and pressed it gently, he looked back at her and she shook her head, "Clara lets go" he said as he helped her out of the chair and they walked to the door. Doctor Keller stood up "I'm really so-"he was interpreted by the Doctor again "Don't you even try" he hissed as he pointed at him, he slammed the door as they walked out.


	5. Where to Clara Oswald?

Chapter 5

The Doctor walked into Clara's flat and she followed closed the door behind her, she hear a screechy door open and turned around only to see an older lady, her skin was paper white and her dark curly hair was pulled back into a bun, she wore a black suit and a black eye patch covered one of her eyes

"You're almost ready my dear" her lips curled as she looked at Clara

"Ready for what? Who are you?" Clara stared at her being more confused than she ever was

"You'll see...Clara, now I think you might need to sit down your legs look a bit shaky dear" She smirked

Clara turned around to call the Doctor

"Yes Clara?" his head peeked out of the kitchen door

"Who's-" she turned around to face the eye patch lady but stopped talking when she saw that she was gone

"What is it Clara?" His voice became louder

"Nothing Doctor, Never mind" she replied confused, maybe she was seeing things, she pushed away the thoughts of the eye patch lady and walked over to the Doctor who was in the kitchen making tea.

Clara sat down and watched as the Doctor ran around opening cabinets, jumping from one place to another

"Clara you know we can try another way to help you, not Earth medicine" he said from behind her as he ran around the kitchen.

"No Doctor, I already accepted whatever is going to happen" she said calmly not wanting him to think she didn't want his help

"But Clara I can help! You don't have to suffer!" he defended his idea

"Doctor, I just want to spend whatever is left of my life not being treated or talking about death, I don't want you to look at me and only see a cancer patient that you need to help. I know you want to help but I want to spent my last moments in the TARDIS... with you, not in a hospital bed no matter where it is" Clara voice rose a bit and her eyes followed his every move.

He handed Clara the hot tea and leaned on the counter

"Why didn't you tell me sooner about how sick you were?" He watched Clara squirmed in her chair uncomfortable with his question.

"Because… because then you wouldn't treat me the same, you would treat me like I'm made of glass and I didn't want that" her eyes lowered to her hands as she curled them around the warm cup.

He looked down and he didn't talk for a while, he placed his cup down and walked over to her slowly, his arms extended to her, he placed his hands on her little shoulders and he stood there with his hands on her shoulders in silence

"You know I still own you one last adventure" he laughed quietly removing his hands from her shoulders.

She smiled and stun around in her chair throwing herself on him and hugging him tightly, his arms curled around her and he rested his head on her shoulder.

"Well grab your tea and let's go!" he let go of Clara and began walking to the door.

Clara's face lit up, she grabbed her tea and followed him, she reached out for his hand once she grabbed it he stopped and turned around looking at her, he squeezed her hand firmly, she pulled his hand closer to her and stepped on her tippy toes as she leaned in for a kiss, he freed his hand and wrapped it around her waist pulling her closer in. Clara's cup slipped out of her grip and shattered as it fell on the cold ground, they both jumped up and looked at the broken cup then at each other, they both smirked and the Doctor grabbed Clara's hand and they walked out the door ignoring the shattered cup.

They ran to the TARDIS almost tripping over their own feet. The TARDIS was in the middle of an empty grass field, the Doctor let go of Clara s hand and walked toward the doors of his ship, he opened them and turned around looking at Clara with his arms wide open. She smiled wide and ran inside the TARDIS and he followed behind.

"Where to Clara Oswald?" he said as he followed her into the TARDIS.

She ran around the console room with her head up and her arms stretched out then she stopped and placed her hand on a leaver

"Surprise me Doctor" she said smiling. He walked over to her and pulled the leaver her hand was on then began pressing buttons and pulling more leavers. He looked over to Clara

"I know exactly where to go"


	6. in one day

Chapter 6

Minutes, hours, days were spent in the TARDIS, running from one planet to another, each day something new, something fantastic. But the Doctor saved the best from last. He wanted Clara to remember their last day together.

Clara dragged her feet across the TARDIS halls moving from room to room, peeking around the corners. Her brown eyes examined every edge of the TARDIS. Her cardigan fell to her shoulder and she held the front of it as she entered the kitchen. Yawning she stretched her arms up to the ceiling, reaching for the fridge door she heard a familiar screechy noise.

"Hello Clara" a voice behind her said calmly and slowly

Without turning around Clara opened the fridge and grabbed a gallon of milk, the fridge closed softly and she walked over to the cabinet, grabbing a glass she glanced over to the voice and her eyes widened.

"Who are you?" Clara slammed the gas on the counter and stared at the lady in the black suit which stood at the doorway, white light surrounded her and she gave half a smile as a response to Clara's question. She glared around the room then at Clara, she looked disgusted and her eyes… oh her eyes... were full of such hate that you had to look away.

"Fine, I'll just ask the Doctor" Clara smirked and twisted the cap off the milk, filling her gas she set the milk down and picked up her gas instead, she leaned on the counter staring at the woman.

"Doctor?!" she finally called out still staring at woman in the doorway, then she noticed her face, the face that was prideful just a second ago was now covered by a mask of fear and anger. The woman's upper lip twitched and she narrowed her eyes.

"Madame Kovarian" She tilted her head up and crossed her arms over her chest "And you're" she paused "almost ready" She shifted her head and looked down at her watch "80%... 81%... 82%" She spoke as if she was downloading something "89%" she glanced up at Clara's worried face "90%" she said proudly and focused her attention back to Clara "Oh Clara, in a day none of this will matter" She stepped toward Clara and placed her rough hand on Clara's cold pale cheek. Clara jerked back, her arm knocked over the gallon of milk, crashing on to the floor a pool of white liquid spread on the tiles creating a pudding behind her. Clara spun around and looked at the puddle of milk then turned around to face Madame Kovarian once again

"Hey-"she stopped herself from saying anything else once she realized that she was alone, she sat down on the floor thinking about what Madam Kovarian told her, she put her cup down and let it sit on the floor, she pulled her loose cardigan back over one of her shoulders and hugged her knees tightly, her eyes pricked with tears at the words she said been exposed to_, in a day,_ she repeated in her mind,_ in a day_. Soft tears rolled down her pale face. _One day_.

The Doctor was in his room, he cleaned up the mess he made and decided to rearrange it, his feet slipped onto the floor and he stood up stretching his arms and back. Putting on his regular clothes he stopped looking around the room, finally noticing that something indeed was missing… yes, Clara, Clara must have woken up before him, he closed his eyes and planted his face into the palms of his hands as he sat on the edge of the unmade bed. His head rose as he heard Clara calling him. Forcing himself up, he walked quickly in search of Clara. He walked into the kitchen, Clara sat on the cool ground her face was buried in her knees and she cried softly not realizing that he came in. White liquid made its way under the fridge, but he focused on Clara.

He walked slowly and quietly over to her and crouched down "Hey, hey it's okay…" he wrapped his arms around her and held her. He's legs stretched out and he placed her weightless body on his lap, her head dug into her chest as she cried, her short hair tickled his face and he held her tighter

"_Shhhh._ It's okay…. I'm here Clara, I'm right here" he whispered. He kissed the top of her head, a soft gentle kiss that made her tears stop for a moment.

Clara cried herself to sleep in his arms; even though she woke up a few hours ago she got tried quickly. He held her close to him as he made his way to the bedroom; her hair fell and brushed along his arm. She mumbled something and he leaned in to hear her. _Madame Kovarian._ His muscles tightened at that name.

He placed her on the bed and pulled a cover over her, she smiled in her sleep but her smile faded. Kissing her forehead he smiled and sat beside her feet.

"_Madame Kovarian" _He mumbled under his breath


	7. Alone again

Chapter 7

_Cold_. Too cold. Chills climbed up Clara's back as she lied with her eyes closed. Her body tightened, her head ached and her throat was dry. She finally opened her eyes.

She was in a room, a small unfamiliar room. Dark. Cold._ Alone_. Pulling a cover over her she sat up in the small bed in which she lied.

"Doctor?" her voice faded in the silent dark room. She clenched the covers over her chin

"Hello?" she rubbed her throat, her voice was gone and it hurt to talk

"Doctor?" she ignored the pain in her throat and she slipped out of bed, covering herself with the thin covers

"Anyone?" her bare feet slid out of the room and into a long hallway, the walls were stone and there were no windows only a small opening on the ends of the hallway, gentle light beamed through the small openings and Clara made her way to the beaming light. More doors, on each side of the hallways, two across from each other, but these doors were locked; she squinted and guided her fingers along the weird markings on one door next to the end of the hallway. _MP._

"What's MP?" She whispered to herself

"Hello? Is anyone in here?" Her voice fell into a whisper as she nudged the door handle

"They let her go" a quiet, soft voice called out from behind her

"Who let who go?"

"They let Melody go a long time ago" the man's voice was soft but clear

"They?"

"Go back to your room before they catch you" the voice faded

"Wait..." she whispered back but there was no reply "What do they want?" she tried another question praying for a respond

"They want to end a war" the soft voice spoke up, louder this time

"Against whom?" she folded her arms

"The Doctor" the voice stated, no longer soft or kind but as if those words themselves were disgusting.

Her heart pounded fast, and she tripped over her shaky legs as she tried to walk back

_Clara! Another voice _

She covered her ear with her palms. Too loud, too loud. The voice was in her head and it was too loud.

_Clara!_

Her body began shaking and she screamed, she hit her ears, trying to make the loud voice go away…. Everything went black.

The Doctor spent hours thinking of reasons why Clara said Madame Kovarian. Running from room to room in the TARDIS he found an answer.

"Oh…" he rubbed his thumbs over his clenched fists.

"But… how" he spoke to himself, his thin eyebrows rose as he made his way to Clara, who was still asleep. He sat on the bed next to her and stared at her for a minute

"Clara" he tapped her shoulder. She frowned in her sleep and grabbed the covers that fell to her side.

Her body shook a bit as he tapped her again

"Clara" he said impatiently, she covered her ears.

Her eyes opened widely and narrowed back as they adjusted to the light. Pulling herself up she looked around the room then to the Doctor

"Are you real?" her cold hands touched his cheek and she flinched when she touched him, removing her hand she stared at him, her eyes watered

"Clara of course I'm real" he smiled then noticed her confused expression "What's wrong?"

"Who's Madame Kovarian?" she replied

"She's…" he paused trying to think "She's a cruel, manipulative person and she did horrible things" he looked away from her and a million different memories raced through his mind

"Why did you say her name?" He glanced up at her/

"She said that none of this would matter in one day" Clara stroked her arm with her hand. He thought for a moment

"It's nothing Clara. Trust me... After all I'm The Doctor" He rose up, smiled at her and slowly made his way out the door not looking back at her.

She was alone. _again._


	8. Dancing Stars

Clara laid in bed for a while longer, her arms held on to her knees and she pushed them to her chest. As she laid there all she could think about was her odd dream, it seemed so real but yet how could she be there in that cold prison like room when she's here with the Doctor. Then she thought of Madame Kovaiarn, what was going to happen soon? Her back began to ache and she stood to stretch it out, her body felt weightless but yet she managed to walk to the bathroom, her hair was a mess, most was gone. She stared into the mirror, her hand reach into the sink drawer and she pulled out an electric razor. Brown hair locks fell to the ground, a tear fell down Claras cheek as she put the razor down and stared into the mirror, at the person she didn't recognize.

The Doctor sat on the stairs of the TARDIS, his elbows pressed into his knees and his face rested in both of his palms. A light clicking sound approached him then stopped. His palms uncovered his face and his eyes meet Claras, she stood by him a weak smile on her face and her hand touched the side of her head, above the ear. He stood up and kissed the top of her head before running to the console and pushing buttons and pulling levers.

"Want to go see something awesome?" He said with a smile, his voice playful but yet with a bit of sadness

A smile spread across Claras face, a real smile not the ones she'd been wearing for a while but the way she used to smile, before she got sick. She skipped over to his side, his hand rested on a long lever and Clara placed her cold hand on top of his, he didn't flinch at the touch of her cold skin instead he looked over at her, his eyes clear and a crooked smile. It seemed as if the world had paused and it was just them, no cancer, all the tension melted away as the Doctors soft lips pressed against Claras, his hand slowly pulled the lever down and their hands slipped into one another. They stood there for a moment, hand in hand when he let go and wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing her body against his and his lips kissed hers softly, as she leaned forward on her tiptoes she lost her balance and fell back on her feet, his arms wrapped tighter and he pushed her back up, holding her steady.

The TARDIS made a whooshing sound which announced that they have arrived, her head pulled back and his grip loosened around her waist, she smiled shyly at him and looked over to the TARDIS door, the light beamed through the glass and the Doctor turned to walk to the door, "Ready?" he asked, his hands gripped onto the door handles and the beaming light hit his face creating a bright line across it. Clara shook her head and watched as light filled the TARDIS.

The air felt cool against her skin, the light from the outside faded and she glanced at what was waiting for them. At first all you could see is a ball of light, lines of light from the star dances into space disappearing as they got further. The Doctor sat on the edge of the doors, his legs hanging out into outer space, white lines dance around his feet. He turned his head back and smiled; even though he was smiling his eyes looked milky, he nodded his head calling her over. She sat next to him and looked down; white lines were dancing around her feet, her foot touched one as it looped around her foot, and it slowly began to fade. She looked over to the man who was sitting by her side

"So… why here?" Clara asked in a whisper

"Shhhh. Wait for it" he smiled and glanced at her.

The white lines suddenly danced back to the star and it looked as if they pushed it further back.

"3…2..1" The Doctor whispered to himself and suddenly the star send out small white explosions which looked like a million of white lines on a wave heading toward them and then sunk beneath their feet heading back to the star, more rows of line waves flew out of the star and spread out into different directions causing the dark blue sky to change color. As the line waves danced, neon lights peeked out of nowhere, dancing along with the lines but instead of sinking down it rose up and spun, creating loops and like exploded like fireworks at the end of every loop.

Claras eyes widened from amazement, and he looked over at her; her mouth hung open a bit and her brown eyes looked green then blue as she followed everything that was going on, she looked… happy. He hadn't seen her fully happy in a while, so he smiled because she was smiling. A flash of gold light washed over them then pitch black. The dancing stars disappeared into the dark space. The amazement from Claras eyes faded and she closed her mouth.

The side of her head rested on his shoulder and they sat in silence just leaning on each other. The Doctors sonic screwdriver was in his hand. The air felt thin and she struggled to breath, she stood up in a panic.

"Does the air feel thin to you?" her inhales short, she paced the room with her hand on her chest

He rose slowly facing her, his eyes watering and his lips clinched tightly.

"Doctor?" she stared at him

"I'm sorry Clara" he said in a low voice, his eyes closed and looking down

"Sorry? Sorry for what exactly?" her pacing stopped, her full attention on him

He stood silently then walked over to her, putting his arms around her, hugging her tightly and kissed her right above the eye. "Come here…" he lead her to where they were sitting earlier and sat down. He pointed his sonic screwdriver to the sky and suddenly the sky came back to life. She leaded against his chest and his back leaned against the doorway, his hands holding her gently but firmly.

"Focus on the sky" he whispered, tears fell down his face

She struggled to breath but she looked out at the dancing sky

"Don't worry… I'll see you soon" he whispered almost choking on his tears

She sucked in as much air as she could, "I love you." Her whisper was quitter then his

He held his tears back

No more air, she leaned her head forward looking at him and brushed her lips against his gently before closing her eyes and pressing her head into his chest.

A sharp exhale escaped from him and tears streamed down his face as he closed his eyes, her lifeless body felt weightless and he picked up his sonic screwdriver. He kissed her lips before sonicing her dead body.

The body melted into goo.

Clara woke up alone in the stone room.


	9. Madame Kovarian

Chapter 9

The darkness surrounded her as she rose in her bed. Her hands pressed against her throat and she tried to catch her breath. The last thing she remembered was the dancing stars, fading before her eyes and the Doctor, her Doctor. She felt safe in his arms and now when she was scared and alone, he wasn't there. Her hands traced the way he held her and she wrapped her arms around herself trying to remember his touch. She brought her knees to her chest and her forehead pressed into them, she shut her eyes.

A screechy sound echoed in the empty room and was followed by a clicking of a heel. Clara's eyes peeked over her knees, Madame Kovarian stood behind the edge of the bed. A small light beamed through the hallway casting a creepy shadow on her face. Clara's grip on her knees tightened and she pressed them closer to her chest. Madame Kovarian walked slightly forward and her fingers touched the edge of the bed frame with her fingertips.

"Hello Clara." Her voice was soft, cold. Claras eyes followed every move she made and she lowered her knees off the edge of the bed. Madame Kovarian continued speaking.

"Oh I'm sorry that we had to take you away like that, but we couldn't let the Doctor figure out that you were actually here. That wouldn't be smart now would it?" A crooked smile stretched out on her face causing wrinkles around her mouth and forehead

"How did I get here? I was with the Doctor!" Clara demanded coldly.

"Oh Clara. Silly, silly Clara. You were never with him. That was a clone, a piece of flesh and you, well you were here. You've been here for months; you laid there and simply dreamed… Well not exactly dreamed but watched as your clone spent all that time with him... Instead of you. Everything you think you did, every emotion you felt. Wasn't all yours."

Her mouth was moving but the rest of her words were hard to make out. Clara's eyes drifted to the stone ground beneath her feet.

"So you just laid there and dreamed as we downloaded you." Madame Kovarian's words finally were crystal clear and Clara's eyes met her.

"Again with the downloading thing! What exactly do you mean by downloaded?" Clara was now standing. Her face felt warm. Madame Kovarian folded her hands into her pockets.

"Your brain was copied, studied and can now be controlled" she smirked

Claras hands clenched into fists and she quickly launched at Madame Kovarian but before her fist could slam into her face, Madame Kovarian's hand slipped out of her pocket and pulled out a small remote control. Claras body froze in an awkward position. Madame Kovarian walked in a circle around Clara slowly, examining her awkward frozen body.

"It's so easy." She said with a laugh and clicked the red button on the control.

Claras body unfroze and she collapsed to her knees. Her head turned back to face Madame Kovarian and watched as she walked away from the room and the screechy door closed behind her.

The Doctor stood in the tardis and leaned over the railing. His fingers ran through his hair as the Tardis whooshed. He slowly walked toward the door, his footsteps echoed through the empty tardis and his hands fell to the handles. He stepped out; the dark sky covered the small planet. The planet was unordinary small and had a rough patchy ground. In front of him stood a tall stone building with glass doors and a small tower that peered over the rest of the building. He clenched his screwdriver and quickly walked toward the building. The building was empty, the thick glass windows and doors casted a light beam that stretched out to the other side of the room, reaching two set of stair cases. One led up, these stairs were metal but the other set which led down, were made out of stone. He pointed his screwdriver at the dim light, and followed the cold stone stairs down.

A small narrow window let the sunlight in; rows of steel doors covered the sides of the dark hallway. He slowly walked through the hallway, opening certain doors and discovering nothing inside. He opened the last room in the hall. The doors screeched as it opened, the room which held a bed seemed empty.

"What do you want?" a familiar small voice crept out of the shadows.

"Hello? Are you alright?" the Doctor replied

"Doctor…?" Clara whispered

Clara sat on the ground, leaning against the wall. She rose quickly and wrapped her arms around him. Her face buried into his chest and his arms tightly pulled her closer to him. Hot tears rolled down from her face.

"I thought I'd never see you again" she whispered into his chest

"Clara, don't worry, I'll always find you" He hugged her tighter

"We have to go Clara"

Their steps echoed in the empty hallway. They finally reach the glass door.

"Doctor" Clara stood emotionless, her hand let go of his and she took a step away from him.

"Clara?" his head turned and he stared at her

Clara turned away from him and walked upstairs. He followed her slowly. The stairs led to the small tower, the dark room had a wall of computers. A woman sat in the chair, a small remote in her hand and an eye patch around her eye. She rose as Clara and the Doctor walked in through the glass door quietly. Clara froze.

"Thank you darling" Madame Kovarian pressed a button on the remote and Clara collapsed to the ground

"Clara!" He fell onto his knees, his hand held her up, "Clara?" he tapped her cheek lightly. A small laugh filled the room as he looked up at Madame Kovarian. She watched them for a moment then stared out the glass window.


	10. Please Don't Fade Away

The glass window sparkled as the sun beamed through it, tinting the black computer screens. Clara laid motionless against the Doctors supporting arms, her glossy eyes blinked rapidly, she stared blankly at him. Madame Kovarian grin widened as a small shuttle landed in front of the glass window on a small platform on the balcony.

The Doctors palm pressed against Claras softly blushed cheek. Her eyes focused on him, the arch of her eyebrows rose and she looked as if she was gasping for air.  
_'Doctor get out. It's a trap we have to get out'_ the scream echoed inside her head, she focused on opening her mouth to warn him but she had no control over her body, it felt weightless and heavy at the same time. Her eyes searched his face, highlighting every detail, every mark. He looked out at Madame Kovarian, her dull eyes stared back at him, a small grin crept on her face as she turned her body to face him.

"Oh don't look so glum!" Her heels clicked against the metal ground as she made her way to the computer.

Her fingers brushed along the keyboard and she almost unnoticeable pressed the space bar. A light hissing sound echoed in the small room, the Doctors supporting arms pushed down to the ground and he gently placed Clara back on the ground. He pushed himself off his knees and forced himself to stand up straight.  
His mind raced into different directions, he was tired of it all. Fighting for his happiness, losing everyone who he has ever loved. Not this time. No. No, this time he will save his beloved, this time he is not going to watch her fade away.  
He shook his head quickly leaving all his thoughts behind and steps over Claras paralyzed body, his eyes scanned the computer in front of him.

"Why?" his harsh voice cut through the gently hissing.

"Because Doctor, you don't deserve happiness." the bitter hatred in her voice stun him.

Madame Kovarian pressed the letter _'L' _on the keyboard before making her away back to the window, her steady hand opened the glass door which leads to the balcony where the small shuttle stood.

"Unfreeze her!" he demanded as she began to step out

"All in good time Doctor." she grinned slyly and glanced at the computer screen.

The Doctors eyes followed hers; he stiffened as the _11 seconds_ quickly turned into _10._ The shuttle was already gone by the time it said 8. The hissing grew louder and white gas poured out of the vents.

"Clara! Clara, we need to leave!" He yelled over the loud hissing.

_5_

Claras eyes panicked as she scanned the room, she felt his arms reach under her stiff body and raise her off slowly. The thick gas weakened him to the point where he could barely lift her off the ground.

_3_

__Her fingers moved, they moved!  
"Doctor..." he didn't notice her raspy voice, she placed her hand on his shoulder, he turned his head and smiled childishly.

"Put me down, I can walk now."

He placed her quickly on the ground; his hand wrapped around hers and he lead her quickly to the balcony door.

2

Pain shot up Claras legs as she stepped. The thick gas clouded surrounded them. The door was in his reach. His hand left hers as they got outside and he pressed his hands to his knees as he gasped for air.

1

"Clara are you okay?" His shaky voice called out through a raspy cough

"Yeah." She said softly.

"Okay, C'mon let's get out of here." His hand reached behind him, waiting for her to take it. He turned his head to the sound of tapping on glass.

"Clara..?" He called out in a whisper.

Clara stood an inch away from the glass door, the gas behind her clouding up.

"No, no, no..." He whimpered as he rattled the locked doors.

"Doctor..." Claras hand pressed against the glass, her eyes watered as she watched him struggle to open the locked door.

"Doctor look at me." her voice broke.

His hands fell from the handles, Clara couldn't die like this, and they were so close to getting out, just a second more.  
He lifted his head to look at her.  
_This is the last time he was ever going to see her_.

Claras knees weakened as the gas began to get thicker and make their way into her lungs, her legs began to feel like liquid and she melted to the floor, her hand still pressed against the thick, cold glass, The Doctor mirrored her movement to the ground. His knees dug into the ground and he lifted his hand, placing it where Clara had hers on the other side.

"Clara please." he pleaded as he examined her tear stained face, the tears blurred his vision and there was no point in fighting them back anymore. Claras lip trembled and tears fell down her cheek

"I love you." She gave him one last weak smile.

The gas clouded around her and began to blend her with the white fog.

"Clara, stay with me!" he clenched his hands into fists and pounded on the thick glass as she began to fade into the gas.

Her hand slowly dragged down the glass, leaving only a blurred hand print behind, the gas cloud swallowed her image.

_She was gone_

"Clara!" he screamed from the top of his lungs as he pounded on the glass.

Hot tears rolled down his face leaving his cheeks wet.  
The gas began to fade minutes later, relieving her lifeless body on the ground. A sharp pain pierced his stomach and he was left breathless.  
The door creaked opened. He quickly swung the door opened and took her lifeless body into his arms. A shaky sob escaped him as he hugged her.

"I lo-love you Clara." his voice broke.

_She is gone_


	11. Authors Note

Thank you guys so much for following, reviewing and favoriting Secrets Protect

I really did enjoy writing this story and it was my very first fanfic,  
I hope you guys enjoyed it and would recommend it to others who arent into a very fluffy fanfic(:  
Please message me if you have any questions about the story and I'll be happy to explain anything  
Also I'll be rewriting some earlier chapters just to make them better

Thank you guys so much for following along!


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